Relax.

Today was a particularly difficult day for me.  It wasn't because I was overwhelmed with kids.  It wasn't because I had too much to do.  It wasn't because I was late and rushing around.  No, it wasn't any of the usual culprits that caused this day to be not my favorite.  It was a combination of a lack of sleep last night and circumstances that I couldn't control.  In a nutshell, I was supposed to have my windows replaced today, and I moved everything in my house around, took down my blinds and rearranged my mindset for the day only to not have it happen.  This, on top of not having slept well sent me a little bit over the edge.  I was annoyed.  I was frustrated.  I was irritated. 

So I needed to unwind.  There are a few things I do in order to unwind and relax.  More often than not I go to the gym.  Sometimes I take a bubble bath and read a book.  Other times I watch television or my favorite movie with a glass of red wine.  Tonight, I did one of my favorite things.  I took myself out for coffee .  I sat at Starbucks for a couple hours, just me and my laptop.  I got some really good writing done, ran into some friends I haven't seen for a while and got to drink a delicious cup of comfort.  Now I feel a hundred times better.  I don't want to snap someone's head off anymore (well, not most people anyways). 

I find it incredibly important to include these kinds of things in my life.  To have balance, I need to set aside time for myself to detox from all the bad and irritating things that build up during the day.  It took me quite a long time to find tools that I can use to unwind, and I am always searching for more.  If we allow the stress of life to stay inside ourselves, it becomes toxic.  Stress not only alters your mindset, but it also alters your body.  When I am under a lot of stress, I eat.  I self sabotage.  I become destructive and negative.  I don't want to exercise .  These things take a toll on mind and body, and I end up gaining weight and beating myself up about it.  Then it turns into a nasty spiral.  Because I am feeling negative towards myself, I end up medicating by eating more and exercising less, and then it just goes down hill from there.  Well, that is what could happen if I didn't have a box of tools I regularly use to get rid of all my negativity.  Instead of eating all the chocolate in sight, today I splurged on coffee and a small pastry and some much needed alone time.  I don't want the toxic effects of stress in my mind and body, and I don't want them in my home.  So I purged them. 

Stress can be erased by seemingly simple, small things.  By doing something to purposefully change your mindset, you don't allow stress to sink its teeth into you.  One thing that is important is that you have to be able to recognize what you are feeling, and have a strategy to deal with it.  Everyone needs something they can actively do to get rid of unwanted feelings.  I have written previously about positive thinking, and the benefits of it.  In an ideal world, we would all think positively, all the time.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.  Even the most positive people get down sometimes.  That is why we need to be aware of our feelings, our triggers, and the things that can help.  By doing something as simple as pounding it out at the gym, or sipping a warm cup of coffee in the company of my laptop, I can alter the negative thinking patterns that creep in and put them back on track.  I don't claim to be a professional, or to know what will and will not work for everyone.  I just know that I feel better when I am being positive and not allowing stress to have a residence in my mind.  I can only tell you what I try to do, and how I try to cope.  My hope is that everyone else out there has their own things that work.  We have enough to worry about in life without those extra little stresses.

What do you do to get rid of your stress?  Do you have something you can do to re-balance yourself, so that you don't have stress and negativity eating you up?  I would love to hear comments on your strategies and tools to de-stress and rearrange your negative thoughts to positive ones.

10 Simple Solutions to Stress: How to Tame Tension And Start Enjoying Your Life
Eliminate Stress And Anxiety From Your Life - Dealing With Stress! (Master Resale Rights)
Slim Goodbody Life Skills: Dealing With Stress

Unnecessary Dangers

In the society we live in, there is a plethora of information out there.  With the click of a mouse, we can find answers to virtually any question we can think of.  What I find astounding is that even in our instant information society we still make poor choices and put our children in unnecessary dangers.  I like to give parents the benefit of the doubt for the most part, but some things I see have absolutely no excuse - because the information is so readily available that it's astounding!

The first thing on my mind today are parents who smoke around their children.  We are all painfully aware that smoking leads to health problems, the biggest one being death.  This is something that is not refuted by anyone, smokers and non-smokers alike.  It is a hard fact.  So my question is, why on earth would we want to pass those health problems on to our most precious?  In the past month, I have seen so many parents light up with their kids near, or even in the vehicle with them, that I am absolutely heart broken!  By smoking around your kids, whether you are outside or you have the window cracked, you are allowing your children to breathe in poisonous chemicals such as carbon monoxide, formaldehyde, hydrogen cyanide, ammonia, arsenic and DDT, to name a few.  Would any parent who loves their child pour ammonia or arsenic into their bottle?  Would they add a little DDT to dinner?  NO!  So why, oh why would they allow their children to breathe it in? 

Some people think that if they smoke outside with their children near it isn't a big deal.  The fact of the matter is if you can smell the smoke, you are inhaling it, regardless of how much open air and space surrounds you.  They think that if they crack the window in the vehicle that the smoke will go outside, affecting the children strapped into this torture chamber very little.  Wrong.  Once again, if they can smell it, they are breathing it.  There is also the factor that these toxins don't just evaporate and disappear.  They cling to fabrics like clothing and upholstery as well.  Again, if you can smell it, it is there.  I would absolutely implore any parents out there who smoke around your children to reconsider!  Not only are you putting them at physical risk for a ridiculous amount of diseases (many of which are fatal), but you are providing a bad example for them as well.  Children of parents who smoke are twice as likely to become smokers themselves.  Twice as likely.  Wow.  I understand that smoking is a difficult habit to quit - really, I do.  But if your child's life isn't motivation for you, what is?

The next thing that has really been bothering me is the epidemic in North America of childhood obesity.  Recently, I have become somewhat obsessive over health, mainly because I want to be at my healthiest before my body begins to decline with age, and because I have two children who I want to set the best example for.  This is one reason my family rarely eats fast food, and why we have limited processed food in our diets.  Don't get me wrong, I am not going to deny my kids the occasional treat, but I prefer to give them as many healthy choices as I can.  If you ask my five year old what her favorite food is, her answer will be "vegetables."  This is because she has always been expected to eat them.  There was never a question as to whether or not my kids would eat their veggies.  They have to.  Now, they both absolutely love them, and often these are the first things that get eaten in a meal. 

As a society of instant gratification, we rely heavily on fast food to sustain us.  Often we don't think of what is actually in that food, and how much benefit it is actually doing our bodies.  Check out this link to see something disturbing about McDonald's, http://gizmodo.com/5662271/watch-six-months-of-a-happy-meals-eternal-life.  If food doesn't decompose on the plate, it is not going to decompose in our arteries.  Yet every kid I know is very aware of those golden arches, my own included.  We go there maybe two or three times a year, and honestly, my stomach hates me every time I do.  Not to mention that for the same price, I can prepare a wholesome and nutritious meal at home and feel much better after eating.  I can only imagine how many products and preservatives are in fast food!  Have you ever read the labels on common canned or packaged items at the grocery store?  I have started doing this more and more often, and when I don't recognize an ingredient, I will try to opt for something else. 

That's my little rant for today.  I sincerely hope we as a society of instant everything can take a step back and see what we are doing to ourselves and to our children.  I'm not saying we need to switch to eating everything organic and homemade.  I am just saying we should be more aware of what we put into our bodies and make a decision now to make healthier choices.  If we're not going to make those choices for ourselves, can we consider making them for our kids?  What's more important, that next cigarette and a convenient meal, or the health and wellness of our children?

The Monster Health Book: A Guide to Eating Healthy, Being Active & Feeling Great for Monsters & Kids!
Winning the Food Fight: Every Parent's Guide to Raising a Healthy, Happy Child
How To Quit Smoking Even If You Don't Want To
The Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Join the Millions Who Have Become Non-smokers Using Allen Carr's Easy Way Method

Dear Mom

To my mom,

My baby turned one year old this week, and your baby is turning twenty one in a few short weeks herself.  I feel like I have lived a whole lifetime without you, but your legacy continues.  In my beautiful sister, your baby girl, I see your face.  I see your warm heart and your compassion.  I see your smile, your hair, and your essence.  In my children I see your determination, your carefree attitude, your mischievous sense of humor and your artistic skill. 

Even though you've been gone from my life for as long as I had you, I still feel like I see you every day.  Though you aren't physically with me, I see what you have passed along to your daughters and granddaughters.  You were one of the most beautiful people I have had the privilege of knowing, and I am so happy that parts of you continue on.

I wish you could be here to see your grandbabies grow and learn and develop.  They are remarkable people, and I am bursting with pride about them.  I wish you could see how far I've come, and how much I've conquered to have a life I am truly happy with.  I wish you could see your baby girl turn twenty one and take her life into her own hands with strength and determination.  You would be so proud.

I really miss you right now, and I know I will miss you for the rest of my life.  You were a good mother, and I think if you were here now, we would be good friends too.  I hope I live up to all you wanted for me.  I emulate you when I parent my children, and because of this, I know that they will never doubt that I love them and want what is best for them.  I wish they could know you in person, but I take comfort in the fact that my sister, myself and they themselves carry on your spirit.

I love you mom.