I got a call from my doctor today that confirmed what I already knew. Still, I feel relieved. In a previous blog, I mentioned that I had to take my baby for a bunch of tests because she's not gaining a lot of weight. She had a blood test, stool samples, and a sweat test. The blood test was for iron levels and checking for celiac disease, the stool sample was checking for any infections or viruses, and the sweat test was checking for cystic fibrosis. All these things can cause malabsorption of food. I found out today that my girl has none of these things, except that she's a little low on iron absorption, but still has lots of iron stores from being breastfed. It turns out that she's just petite! I had a hunch, but I still wanted to know for sure. I'm glad I have a doctor who is cautious, if not overly so. I think I'd rather have a doctor who tests for all possibilities, even if it's nothing, than one who sits back and waits. It does cause a little stress though when there is even a slight possibility of something being wrong with your child.
I'm sure all moms can relate to this. Our children are the most precious things we are blessed to have. They are absolutely a gift from God. We have to do our best to give them the best lives possible, no matter what it costs us. That includes sacrifices we have to make, but it also includes taking care of ourselves adequately enough that we are still able to sustain our own identities apart from them. I feel very strongly about this! Even though I am a stay at home mom right now, I don't think it's right for me to invest every part of myself in my kids only. It's my opinion that in order to be the best mother I can be, I need to do things for myself. I need to have a balance in my life and not obsess over my girls. I don't want to be one of those women who is only "mother" and nothing else, and then have a mental breakdown when my kids grow up. I think it's so important to maintain a sense of self, and in doing this, I can give my kids the best of myself.
Don't get me wrong. At this point, my life pretty much is my kids because they are so young. It's pretty hard to do your own thing with an infant and a 5 year old. They need you almost all the time. That's ok! That's the stage of life that I'm in right now, and I relish it. I do, however, savor those moments throughout the day that are mine. Like right now for example. The baby is napping and my daughter and the girls I am babysitting are playing outside, so I am watching Oprah and writing in my blog. Later, after the girls go to bed, I will either go to the gym or go for a rollerblade, depending on how hot it still is out. Then I'll spend some QT with my husband, watch some tv and go to bed. I love spending time with the girls, but I also love those moments to myself.
I am still searching for balance though. Now that I know for sure that my little one is healthy, I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can toss that worry away. One thing down....a gazillion to go! I still need to find time in my life to balance my physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual selves. I am still way out of whack...but I recognize it, and that's the first step to achieving balance.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Baby Food Experiments
Baby food is a big business. Since I had my first daughter, I have been under the impression that I had to feed my kids packaged infant cereal as a first food, and then continue to offer it throughout the stages of development. With my older girl, this was never a problem. She was a very big baby, and was ready for solids quite early. She adapted well to anything I gave her, and ate a lot. She never had problems with digestion, weight gain or her overall health. Now with my littlest one, I have followed the same process, but with very different results.
My little one is just about 9 months old. When she was born she weighed 9 pounds 6 ounces! She was a big, sturdy baby. She was however, born with a defect in her esophagus called Laryngomalacia. This defect makes it so that her little vocal cords are not tight like everyone else's, and when she breathes they sort of flap around making it sound like she needs to cough. It doesn't do any harm and it's never bothered her at all. You can just hear her coming! She is starting to grow out if it, and most babies who have the condition grow out of it by age 2. At her 6 month checkup, my doctor informed me she had dropped to the lower growth line on the baby growth chart, and became a little concerned. For having been born such a large baby, she has turned out to be quite petite. My thinking is that if she was born with one thing not as formed as it should be, maybe there are other things too, like her digestive system.
One of the main reasons babies don't gain enough weight is malabsorbtion of nutrients. This can be caused by many things, and my doctor sent us for a plethora of tests to find out. Baby still wasn't gaining an adequate amount of weight after 3 monthly checkups. This was 2 weeks ago and I still haven't received any results (I think no news is usually good news). Since then, I have been doing my own research into the best diet for infants. My little one has been having difficult and irregular bowel movements since starting on solids, and my thought was that something I was feeding her might be the culprit. First, I took her off all stage two cereals and went back to stage one. This didn't help. Then I googled "first foods" and found out from a few websites that often infant cereal isn't necessarily the best first food. Rice cereal, which we are told to give as a first food, contains few nutrients that aren't already present in the rice, and tends to sit like a rock in baby's stomach. Other cereals tend not to be necessary either. The information suggested giving baby fruits, veggies, egg yolks, chicken, turkey and whole grain oats. I decided to nix the cereals and give it a go on my own.
I have always made my own veggies, fruit and meats for my baby for the most part. Now I just make her cereal too. I have started giving her whole grain oatmeal once a day as her only grain, and giving her lots of good fatty foods such as egg yolks and avocado. I've also stopped cheating and giving her the occasional jarred baby food or juice. In addition, I have been breastfeeding more often throughout the day to help her feel more full. I have seen a tremendous difference in her digestion! She has regular, easy bowel movements, and really seems to be thriving. I am excited to take her to her next checkup to see how much weight she has gained.
I have been researching recipes for homemade finger foods and yummy recipes for the foods I give her. One recipe that has been very successful is little banana oat cookies. Here it is:
1) Grind whole grain oats in a food processor or blender until fine (there's no measurement...you just mix it together until the consistency is like a dough) .
2) Mash a whole, ripe banana
3) Mix together enough oats and banana to resemble cookie dough and spoon onto lightly greased cookie sheet.
4) Bake for 10-15 minutes at 325, until lightly browned but still soft.
It's awesome because there are only TWO ingredients! It is easy to gum and chew for baby, and is actually really tasty. My little one loves them! Today I made a new batch and added some fresh blueberries. If anyone is interested, here is her typical daily diet.
Breakfast:
- whole grain oatmeal (either blended before or after cooking) with a dash of cinnamon and some banana chunks or apple sauce
OR
- one or two banana oat cookies
Lunch: (mostly finger foods)
- scrambled or hard boiled egg yolk, cut into pieces
- 1/4 to 1/3 of a ripe avocado cut into little chunks
- some kind of fruit like banana chunks or peeled and cut grapes
Dinner:
- mashed sweet potato or white potato
- chicken or turkey puree
- a veggie puree (this week it's broccoli and carrots, last week green and yellow beans)
Snacks:
- mostly consist of fruits or banana oat cookies (my kid squeals as soon as she sees the bananas, so she eats a lot of them...she loves them)
I would love to hear other natural baby food recipes for delicious meals and snacks so I can broaden my horizons even more!
My little one is just about 9 months old. When she was born she weighed 9 pounds 6 ounces! She was a big, sturdy baby. She was however, born with a defect in her esophagus called Laryngomalacia. This defect makes it so that her little vocal cords are not tight like everyone else's, and when she breathes they sort of flap around making it sound like she needs to cough. It doesn't do any harm and it's never bothered her at all. You can just hear her coming! She is starting to grow out if it, and most babies who have the condition grow out of it by age 2. At her 6 month checkup, my doctor informed me she had dropped to the lower growth line on the baby growth chart, and became a little concerned. For having been born such a large baby, she has turned out to be quite petite. My thinking is that if she was born with one thing not as formed as it should be, maybe there are other things too, like her digestive system.
One of the main reasons babies don't gain enough weight is malabsorbtion of nutrients. This can be caused by many things, and my doctor sent us for a plethora of tests to find out. Baby still wasn't gaining an adequate amount of weight after 3 monthly checkups. This was 2 weeks ago and I still haven't received any results (I think no news is usually good news). Since then, I have been doing my own research into the best diet for infants. My little one has been having difficult and irregular bowel movements since starting on solids, and my thought was that something I was feeding her might be the culprit. First, I took her off all stage two cereals and went back to stage one. This didn't help. Then I googled "first foods" and found out from a few websites that often infant cereal isn't necessarily the best first food. Rice cereal, which we are told to give as a first food, contains few nutrients that aren't already present in the rice, and tends to sit like a rock in baby's stomach. Other cereals tend not to be necessary either. The information suggested giving baby fruits, veggies, egg yolks, chicken, turkey and whole grain oats. I decided to nix the cereals and give it a go on my own.
I have always made my own veggies, fruit and meats for my baby for the most part. Now I just make her cereal too. I have started giving her whole grain oatmeal once a day as her only grain, and giving her lots of good fatty foods such as egg yolks and avocado. I've also stopped cheating and giving her the occasional jarred baby food or juice. In addition, I have been breastfeeding more often throughout the day to help her feel more full. I have seen a tremendous difference in her digestion! She has regular, easy bowel movements, and really seems to be thriving. I am excited to take her to her next checkup to see how much weight she has gained.
I have been researching recipes for homemade finger foods and yummy recipes for the foods I give her. One recipe that has been very successful is little banana oat cookies. Here it is:
1) Grind whole grain oats in a food processor or blender until fine (there's no measurement...you just mix it together until the consistency is like a dough) .
2) Mash a whole, ripe banana
3) Mix together enough oats and banana to resemble cookie dough and spoon onto lightly greased cookie sheet.
4) Bake for 10-15 minutes at 325, until lightly browned but still soft.
It's awesome because there are only TWO ingredients! It is easy to gum and chew for baby, and is actually really tasty. My little one loves them! Today I made a new batch and added some fresh blueberries. If anyone is interested, here is her typical daily diet.
Breakfast:
- whole grain oatmeal (either blended before or after cooking) with a dash of cinnamon and some banana chunks or apple sauce
OR
- one or two banana oat cookies
Lunch: (mostly finger foods)
- scrambled or hard boiled egg yolk, cut into pieces
- 1/4 to 1/3 of a ripe avocado cut into little chunks
- some kind of fruit like banana chunks or peeled and cut grapes
Dinner:
- mashed sweet potato or white potato
- chicken or turkey puree
- a veggie puree (this week it's broccoli and carrots, last week green and yellow beans)
Snacks:
- mostly consist of fruits or banana oat cookies (my kid squeals as soon as she sees the bananas, so she eats a lot of them...she loves them)
I would love to hear other natural baby food recipes for delicious meals and snacks so I can broaden my horizons even more!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Long Weight
Last night I worked out. I missed my last two work outs, and it felt good to finally do it again. I missed one because I was traveling and one because I was sick. Yesterday, though I still wasn't feeling 100%, I forced myself to do it. I have 4 pounds to lose before I reach my end of the month goal. When I do that I will be in the next ten pound bracket...It has been a long time! I'm really proud of the progress I've made so far. Since giving birth, I have lost over 25 pounds (last night my weigh in indicated that I've lost 27) and I'd like to lose at least 25 more. This will put me into the range of weight that is healthy for my height.
I can already wear all the clothes I wore before I got pregnant, but I still have some clothes that are waiting patiently on the shelf for me to wear them again. After my oldest daughter turned 2, I realized I had been carrying around a lot of extra weight and had done nothing about it. So, I decided to get moving and lost 40 pounds. Then I got a full time teaching job. Throughout the year, I gained a good 25 pounds. I no longer had time or energy to work out, I ate all the goodies and treats in the staff room, and I was depressed. Teaching is a difficult job, and your first year is ten times worse. I struggled with curriculum, discipline, marking, planning...I absolutely drowned in work. I fell asleep as soon as I sat down after school, and it was all I could do to just get through the day. I gained weight. A lot of weight.
Now I'm still dealing with the aftermath of that year, as well as trying to shed those baby pounds. I am back in pretty good shape, I am fitting my clothes, and I can see a difference in my body. It's not enough yet though, proud as I am. I want to have my body functioning at optimum capacity before I turn 3o next year! I want it to last until I'm 100 and have great-great-grandchildren! The time to get ready for the rest of my long life is right now. I feel the urgency of this, a great desire to change my habits, my body and my lifestyle. I'm not doing too badly, but I know I can do better! This body is such a gift, and I feel I must do everything I can to take care if it and cherish it. I want it to work the way it should.
This part of achieving balance is particularly hard for me. Because I'm so out of whack in everything else, this is the part that slips more often than others. I am bound and determined though to hang on for dear life and kick my own butt into shape again. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to live.
I can already wear all the clothes I wore before I got pregnant, but I still have some clothes that are waiting patiently on the shelf for me to wear them again. After my oldest daughter turned 2, I realized I had been carrying around a lot of extra weight and had done nothing about it. So, I decided to get moving and lost 40 pounds. Then I got a full time teaching job. Throughout the year, I gained a good 25 pounds. I no longer had time or energy to work out, I ate all the goodies and treats in the staff room, and I was depressed. Teaching is a difficult job, and your first year is ten times worse. I struggled with curriculum, discipline, marking, planning...I absolutely drowned in work. I fell asleep as soon as I sat down after school, and it was all I could do to just get through the day. I gained weight. A lot of weight.
Now I'm still dealing with the aftermath of that year, as well as trying to shed those baby pounds. I am back in pretty good shape, I am fitting my clothes, and I can see a difference in my body. It's not enough yet though, proud as I am. I want to have my body functioning at optimum capacity before I turn 3o next year! I want it to last until I'm 100 and have great-great-grandchildren! The time to get ready for the rest of my long life is right now. I feel the urgency of this, a great desire to change my habits, my body and my lifestyle. I'm not doing too badly, but I know I can do better! This body is such a gift, and I feel I must do everything I can to take care if it and cherish it. I want it to work the way it should.
This part of achieving balance is particularly hard for me. Because I'm so out of whack in everything else, this is the part that slips more often than others. I am bound and determined though to hang on for dear life and kick my own butt into shape again. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to live.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Food Fight
Food. It's something women think about a lot. We love it, hate it, use it, need it....well, let's just say it's always on our minds. Well, it's always on my mind anyway. I struggle with food in many ways. I try to eat as healthy as I can (a little obsession of mine), I want to snack on yummy treats, and I want to give my kids the best foods I can offer. What I really struggle with is the HOW of it all.
I have always struggled with my weight. When I was little I was forced to eat everything on my plate, no matter if I was full or not. This, coupled with huge portions, has caused me to have a bit of an overeating complex. I am only now recognizing that I don't actually have to finish what's on my plate; that I can stop when I'm full and I can even take smaller portions! Wow, what a revelation! I make it a point to let my kids stop when they are full, whether they still have food on the plate or not. I usually encourage them to have another bite of this or that, so they have eaten a balanced meal, but I am very conscious not to force them to eat too much.
Then there's the struggle of WHAT to feed everyone. My own kids will eat whatever I give them, because it's that or nothing (and my older girl loves most foods anyways). Having a dayhome however, has posed struggles of a different sort. Different kids like different things, and I struggle to provide them with nutritious options that they will all eat so I don't have to make four separate meals. One kid might not like sandwiches, one might like everything plain, one might not like chicken, one might not like veggies...how do I make a meal that they will all eat while still maintaining a healthy balance? I find I have had to make some compromises in what I am feeding the kids, and I don't like it. I have decided to research recipes that will make me feel better about what I give them, and still be tasty and fun. Any suggestions would be super! I did find a great recipe for homemade chicken nuggets that are made from chicken breasts, whole wheat bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese.
Then there's the problem of what to feed my baby. I started giving her small amounts of solids at about five and half months because she seemed to be ready for food. She showed all the signs. She sat up with little help, was interested in what I was eating and started grabbing things with her index finger and thumb. Then she stopped gaining weight as quickly as she should. I couldn't figure out why! We went for tests of all sorts, and still haven't received the results. I followed the recommended diet for first foods, only to discover that it isn't necessarily best for my baby. I started by giving her single grain cereals, and moved on to more complex cereals as she grew. So many problems cropped up! First, she was constipated. Then she had diarrhea for about two or three weeks. I did some research and decided to take her off all infant cereals completely, and just give her lots of fruits, veggies and whole grain oats as her only grain. What a difference! The bowel problems have stopped, and she seems to be feeling a lot better. It just makes sense that what's good for me is good for her. I'm willing to bet that at my next check up, she'll have gained an adequate amount of weight.
So, my fight with food continues...or perhaps it is a battle with my own perceptions of food. I am trying to gain a proper perspective on what food is for - nourishment as opposed to entertainment or enjoyment or comfort (I am SUCH an emotional eater). I am trying new things with the kids that I hope are enjoyable for them as well as nutritious. I am deciding to really limit the amount of processed foods I buy and consume (not that they are abundant in my house anyway). I am trying, trying, trying...
I have always struggled with my weight. When I was little I was forced to eat everything on my plate, no matter if I was full or not. This, coupled with huge portions, has caused me to have a bit of an overeating complex. I am only now recognizing that I don't actually have to finish what's on my plate; that I can stop when I'm full and I can even take smaller portions! Wow, what a revelation! I make it a point to let my kids stop when they are full, whether they still have food on the plate or not. I usually encourage them to have another bite of this or that, so they have eaten a balanced meal, but I am very conscious not to force them to eat too much.
Then there's the struggle of WHAT to feed everyone. My own kids will eat whatever I give them, because it's that or nothing (and my older girl loves most foods anyways). Having a dayhome however, has posed struggles of a different sort. Different kids like different things, and I struggle to provide them with nutritious options that they will all eat so I don't have to make four separate meals. One kid might not like sandwiches, one might like everything plain, one might not like chicken, one might not like veggies...how do I make a meal that they will all eat while still maintaining a healthy balance? I find I have had to make some compromises in what I am feeding the kids, and I don't like it. I have decided to research recipes that will make me feel better about what I give them, and still be tasty and fun. Any suggestions would be super! I did find a great recipe for homemade chicken nuggets that are made from chicken breasts, whole wheat bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese.
Then there's the problem of what to feed my baby. I started giving her small amounts of solids at about five and half months because she seemed to be ready for food. She showed all the signs. She sat up with little help, was interested in what I was eating and started grabbing things with her index finger and thumb. Then she stopped gaining weight as quickly as she should. I couldn't figure out why! We went for tests of all sorts, and still haven't received the results. I followed the recommended diet for first foods, only to discover that it isn't necessarily best for my baby. I started by giving her single grain cereals, and moved on to more complex cereals as she grew. So many problems cropped up! First, she was constipated. Then she had diarrhea for about two or three weeks. I did some research and decided to take her off all infant cereals completely, and just give her lots of fruits, veggies and whole grain oats as her only grain. What a difference! The bowel problems have stopped, and she seems to be feeling a lot better. It just makes sense that what's good for me is good for her. I'm willing to bet that at my next check up, she'll have gained an adequate amount of weight.
So, my fight with food continues...or perhaps it is a battle with my own perceptions of food. I am trying to gain a proper perspective on what food is for - nourishment as opposed to entertainment or enjoyment or comfort (I am SUCH an emotional eater). I am trying new things with the kids that I hope are enjoyable for them as well as nutritious. I am deciding to really limit the amount of processed foods I buy and consume (not that they are abundant in my house anyway). I am trying, trying, trying...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Fake it 'Till You Make It
I came across the term "fake it 'till you make it" a few years ago, and my first thought was, "Why on earth would I want to do that?" Now I understand. I have two kids, one five years old and one 8 months old. With my older daughter, I didn't have to work right away and I had all the time in the world to spend at home with her. I slept when she slept, night and day, and had an amazing network of friends around me to help whenever I needed it. Now, I don't have the luxury of not working and napping all day long. I have my 5 year old to take care of, and I take care of other children in my dayhome. I am usually up between 5:00 and 7:00 a.m. having been woken up several times in the night, and work starts at 8:00. All school year, I acted as taxi driver to my daughter and husband as we only have the one vehicle. Load kids in car, drop off husband, come home, eat breakfast, load kids in car again, drop off daughter, come home, let baby nap, load kids in car, pick up daughter, come home, make lunch....and that's just the beginning of a typical day. I have definitely had to fake it or I wouldn't have made it.
Today my baby slept through the night (something she has only done a handful of times). She went to bed last night at 9:00, woke up at midnight to eat, as per usual, then slept until the alarm went off at 7! Imagine my surprise when I woke up to sunshine and an alarm clock ringing! WOW, I felt good...until I moved. Then I discovered that my head was pounding, my body ached and my nose was runny. I am sick.
Great, my baby finally sleeps 7 hours, after a week of teething and nursing every couple hours, and I wake up feeling awful. Yep, I'll be faking it today. I take some Ibuprofen, drink some coffee, and get moving. If I sit down I know I will not want to get back up, so GO GO GO! I feed the kids, clean the kitchen, check my email, mediate the squabbles of kids....well, you get the idea.
I understand faking it more than ever these days. As a mother, you have to possess the skill, or you're sunk! I'm sure all the moms out there know exactly what I'm talking about! So, here's to you mommies, and your uncanny ability to fake it 'till you make it. Good for you.
I'm interested to hear what you have to do to fake your way through the day when you truly just don't have the energy or desire to do it. I just don't sit down. I keep myself busy at every possible minute so I don't have to think about how tired or sick or grumpy I am. How do you cope?
Today my baby slept through the night (something she has only done a handful of times). She went to bed last night at 9:00, woke up at midnight to eat, as per usual, then slept until the alarm went off at 7! Imagine my surprise when I woke up to sunshine and an alarm clock ringing! WOW, I felt good...until I moved. Then I discovered that my head was pounding, my body ached and my nose was runny. I am sick.
Great, my baby finally sleeps 7 hours, after a week of teething and nursing every couple hours, and I wake up feeling awful. Yep, I'll be faking it today. I take some Ibuprofen, drink some coffee, and get moving. If I sit down I know I will not want to get back up, so GO GO GO! I feed the kids, clean the kitchen, check my email, mediate the squabbles of kids....well, you get the idea.
I understand faking it more than ever these days. As a mother, you have to possess the skill, or you're sunk! I'm sure all the moms out there know exactly what I'm talking about! So, here's to you mommies, and your uncanny ability to fake it 'till you make it. Good for you.
I'm interested to hear what you have to do to fake your way through the day when you truly just don't have the energy or desire to do it. I just don't sit down. I keep myself busy at every possible minute so I don't have to think about how tired or sick or grumpy I am. How do you cope?
Monday, June 21, 2010
I Used to Dream
I used to dream. I used to have a vivid picture of what my life would become when I became an adult. I thought I could do as I pleased, live as I pleased and work as I pleased. Little did I know, my life would cease to exist once I had kids. With kids, I have discovered that my life no longer belongs to me. My body, my time, my creativity, my energy - none of these things belong to me anymore. Every bit of my existence seems to be focused on my kids, which is a life that many, many women lead. What I endeavor to do is to discover some sort of balance in my life where some pieces of myself still belong to me and I can find a little bit of reprieve from a hectic, sleep deprived life.
Ever since I can remember, I wanted to have kids. I always loved kids. When I was in high school, I remember stating boldly to my friends that I wanted to have 12 kids. Not one, not two, but 12! This is the beginning of my demise. Because I loved kids so much, the natural career choice seemed to me to become a teacher. That way I could always be around kids no matter what. I could be with kids all day long, and then come home to a bunch of kids too. Kids, kids, kids.
So, I set out on an adventure to become a teacher. When I was in university, I had a starry eyed version of what being a teacher would be like...and suffice to say it did not turn out that way. I had no idea that it would be such an all encompassing job...no scratch that, all encompassing LIFE! But that is for another post.
Now I am a stay at home mom with a five year old and and eight month old and I run a day home out of my house so I can help make ends meet. I started my day home when my baby was a month old, so at times I feel like I have been going and going and going, well, forever. I don't regret the decision to be at home with my kids and put my career on hiatus, but I do, however, mourn a life I never got to have. I mourn those dreams that died long ago, and I mourn the body I used to have, and I mourn the fact that I have to struggle for my own identity apart from my children and their lives.
In this blog, I hope to discuss my life as it exists now; my joys and triumphs, and my struggles to reach some sort of balance. I hope my readers will join me in my quest and become a part of the conversation of the life of the woman. Until next time....
Ever since I can remember, I wanted to have kids. I always loved kids. When I was in high school, I remember stating boldly to my friends that I wanted to have 12 kids. Not one, not two, but 12! This is the beginning of my demise. Because I loved kids so much, the natural career choice seemed to me to become a teacher. That way I could always be around kids no matter what. I could be with kids all day long, and then come home to a bunch of kids too. Kids, kids, kids.
So, I set out on an adventure to become a teacher. When I was in university, I had a starry eyed version of what being a teacher would be like...and suffice to say it did not turn out that way. I had no idea that it would be such an all encompassing job...no scratch that, all encompassing LIFE! But that is for another post.
Now I am a stay at home mom with a five year old and and eight month old and I run a day home out of my house so I can help make ends meet. I started my day home when my baby was a month old, so at times I feel like I have been going and going and going, well, forever. I don't regret the decision to be at home with my kids and put my career on hiatus, but I do, however, mourn a life I never got to have. I mourn those dreams that died long ago, and I mourn the body I used to have, and I mourn the fact that I have to struggle for my own identity apart from my children and their lives.
In this blog, I hope to discuss my life as it exists now; my joys and triumphs, and my struggles to reach some sort of balance. I hope my readers will join me in my quest and become a part of the conversation of the life of the woman. Until next time....
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