Bidding Farewell to the First Decade of the 2000s

Today is the second last day of the first decade of the new millennium.  In a mere handful of hours, we will be bidding the decade adieu and ushering in a new one.  This is a time, for me, to reflect on the past ten years and celebrate what is to come in the next.

My life in the past ten years has changed drastically.  In 2000, I was still settling into university, completing my first year.  I was making plans and looking forward to a long career in teaching and keeping my eye out for that special someone.  The year 2000 is actually when I met and began dating my husband, and I knew right from the beginning that he was "the one."  We haven't looked back!  It's been a great ride, and I'm looking forward to the next ten years.  As well as meeting my husband and marrying him, I earned myself two university degrees, had two beautiful children,and reunited with my amazing sisters.  I have laughed, I have cried, I have hurt and I have rejoiced.  I have realized many things about myself, and my past, enabling me to heal and become emotionally stable and independent.  It has been quite a fabulous experience.

In the past year alone I have seen my newborn grow into an almost toddler, begin to walk, talk, laugh, and seen her personality emerge.  I have seen my five year old excel in her first year of school, learning to read ahead of her class, learning to add and subtract, and learning that being a part of society requires all of us doing our part.  This last month she decided to spend her allowance on a donation to the food bank instead of buying herself a treat, which I was incredibly proud of.  I have seen her become a smart, empathetic, kind and caring individual who isn't afraid to think her own thoughts.  I have had my own triumphs this year as well, which have been well documented on this blog.  I have now lost a total of 47 pounds, and am wearing single digit clothing sizes.  I am also in good shape, and have really made a positive lifestyle change.  I have learned so much more about health and healthy living, and I look so forward to continuing along that path, ever looking forward.

In the next decade, I will be saying goodbye to my twenties.  I turned twenty in 2001, and will be turning thirty in 2011.  I am reluctant to admit this fact, but there it is.  I am entering a new decade of my life while the world enters a new decade of its own.  Am I ready for it?  I'm going to say an emphatic 'NO' on that one.  I'm not sure I am quite willing to stop being a twenty-something and start being a real grown up.  Though I have been married seven years, have two children and have long been out of university, I don't always quite see myself as an adult just yet.  I know I am, and I know I can never return to the carefree days of my youth (whether my youth was carefree is a matter up for debate), but I do wish I could stop the aging process some days - at least to erase the gray hairs that keep surfacing along my hairline. 

It's not all bad though!  In the next decade I get to watch my girls grow into young women.  By 2020, my oldest daughter will be 15, and my baby will be 10.  That is a scary, yet exciting prospect.  I don't know how many of you out there know just what kind of crazy I am, but when I tell you I actually enjoy working with teenagers, you will get some idea.  My teaching career has brought me to primarily teens and preteens ranging from age 11 to age 15, and though I haven't enjoyed every single second of it, I can honestly say it has been greatly satisfying.  I had a turbulent teenage life, and I think it fashioned me especially well to work with teens.  That is why I am actually, sort of, a little bit, looking forward to having teens myself.  I am excited to see just what kind of young women my girls will be, and the next decade is about to reveal it to me. 

I'm also excited to see the deepening of many of my relationships in the next ten years.  I have begun (and continued) many lovely friendships in the past ten years, and it will be wonderful to further explore them.  I have also reconnected with my sisters, and in the next year my baby sister is moving to my city.  I am actually beside myself with excitement that she will be closer, because we haven't lived in the same city since 1999!  What a change that will be!  And I'm sure she'll get sick of me, because I will want to spend every spare minute I have with her. 

Another thing I am looking forward to in the next decade is a change in career paths, for both my husband and myself.  We are both delving into unknown territory, which is a little scary, but will inevitably be greatly satisfying.  The next few years are going to be hard.  They are going to be exhausting.  But they will pay off.  I have great faith that what is in store for us is nothing but our deepest desires, and I intend to grab on and let life take me for a great ride.

These are just a few of the things I am thinking of as we prepare to usher in a new year and a new decade.  Though the last ten years has had its share of difficulties and trials, it has also had its beautiful moments where I have realized life is what we make of it.  Our world has changed irrevocably in the last decade, beginning with the destruction of the twin towers, and continuing with the tsunami, earthquakes, hurricanes and many other horrible disasters.  But it has also shown that our fellow man can be compassionate and empathetic, as evidenced in relief efforts in places like Haiti and New Orleans.  It has shown that we are getting closer each day to a cure for cancer, and many other life threatening diseases.  We are becoming a global community where people can reach one another by the click of a button, bringing us ever closer to true compassion and empathy with our fellow man.  I am greatly looking forward to the next decade and the possibilities it holds.

So, as we say goodbye to 2010, and the whole first decade of this millennium, what are you reflecting on?  What are you hoping for as we move forward into unknown territory? 

Are You Ready? I'm NOT!!

There are three days left until Christmas.  I love Christmas.  It is by far my favorite holiday, but it is also, as I get older, the most stressful of holidays.  This year, I am hosting a small dinner on Christmas Eve at my house, and I have a list about ten feet long of things to do.  Except I can't get any of it done!  I have been working long days this week, because my day home kids are all on holidays and here early in the morning and late in the afternoon.  I can only get so much done with a minimum of six kids running around my ankles and needing to be fed, watered and entertained.  Not to mention the fact that I certainly can't go anywhere during the day, so grocery shopping is out of the question.  I am also home-bound in the evening.  My husband is working nights, and we only have one vehicle, so unless I want to pack up my kids and walk somewhere in the snow, I am pretty much stuck in the house.  So, it all has to get done on Christmas Eve day...yay me!  I have a feeling there will be very little sleeping in my life until boxing day.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love having people at my house, and the craziness of celebrating Christmas with my family.  I am looking forward to dinner, the Christmas Eve service and our tradition of opening one present before sending the kids to bed in eager anticipation of Santa's arrival.  I'm looking forward to the kids ripping open their presents Christmas morning and then rushing around like crazy people to pack everyone and everything into the van for the two hour drive to my Aunt's house for Christmas dinner.  I am looking so forward to the food, wine, desserts and especially the company!  I thrive on being insanely busy I think.  I must be a woman.

But seriously, how I get it all done in time I have no clue!  It all ends up getting done in the end though, and I think I must be super-human or something!  Women have something bred into us that makes it so that we magically things get done in time.  If this wasn't true, then the world would have ended long ago.  So, I will get all the cleaning, prepping, cooking and baking done in time if it kills me, and then when it is all over, I will clean it all up again and have a satisfying glass of wine, or two or three.  Then, even though I will want to sleep for a day, I will go back to work and my life will resume as per usual.

I really do love Christmas.  Truly, I do.  Even though it is full of stress and pressure, and craziness and busyness, it is my favorite time of the year.  Even though I will probably gain back a good five pounds of the 47 I have lost, it is all worth it to spend this magical time with the people I love the most, and to eat and drink until I can't fit anymore in.

So, I'm not even remotely ready for the holiday, but I will be!  I won't be sleeping, eating or generally doing anything for myself, but it will all be worth the payoff in the end.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Remembering

Chatting with an old friend has got me remembering.  This time of year always makes me remember, but last night I began to remember a little more vividly.  There are so many people who have touched my life and changed me irrevocably.  There are so many people I have loved without abandon, before I learned to guard my heart against the world that conspires to hurt me.  Sometimes I feel as though I have come full circle, and I am a child again, foolishly putting my heart out there for people to do what they will.  But I honestly can't think of another way to live and be happy.  I really don't think there is anything else to this thing we call life than to love the people we encounter, and cherish and savor those who are destined to be companions, like our children, spouses, parents, siblings and friends.

I have had the great priviledge to call many amazing people my friends.  And now, because of the social network, I have been able to reconnect with many of those I thought I'd never encounter again.  This is what makes me remember.  I remember the times when I was a child, a teen, an almost adult, when I threw my heart to the wind and begged the wind to love me.  Suffice to say, that endeavor was somewhat unsuccessful, as the wind can only do what it does.  Loving me was beyond its capacity, but I cherished it nonetheless.  I got swept up in it.  And now, looking back, though my childish emotions weren't reciprocated the way I wanted, I am happy that I felt the way I did.  I remember it with warmth and fondness, and sweet nostalgia. 

I love getting wrapped up in memories.  This time of year especially makes me remember my mother.  She died shortly after Christmas in January of 1996, and she loved Christmas.  She loved baking, and decorating the tree and singing Christmas carols.  She loved the hectic family get togethers and the chaos of gift opening with squealing children and laughing sisters.  She went out of her way to make me and my sister feel special.  There was always something grand under the tree, though we never had a lot of money.  But what I remember the most about my mother was not the presents and the baking, it was the smell and sound of her warmth and her love.  It was the smile that she wore constantly and the sound of her laughter.  It was her adoration of her family and the fact that I never once questioned whether or not I was loved completely.  Yes, I love remembering.  Though it often comes with the bitter pangs of the love that has been lost, the presence I no longer have in my life, it does my heart good to remember.

Yes, I have truly loved many people in my life, and I honestly believe it is my purpose to fulfill on this earth.  So come what may, I will always love people without abandon.  It's the way I am wired.  I was born to pass that along to others, whether they want to receive it or not.  Today I sit and remember those I have loved passionately and I think on them happily.  I ask the universe to bless them and bring them happiness and love.  Most of all I thank them for existing so I could adore them.  And now I look to the future and those in my life at this moment, and thank God for every single moment I have with them, because I know that life is short, and someday I will not be here to enjoy them.  I love remembering, and to those I have loved in my life, thank you for allowing me to do so.  I will always think of you with warmth.

Holiday Treats Stressing You Out?

It's that time of year again.  You know, the time where overindulgence is rampant and the spread of goodies just lying around is anything but resistible.  It's the time of the year when we stuff ourselves until we have to loosen our belts and undo the top button just to sit comfortably.  Then comes the guilt.  On top of the feeling that your stomach is about to burst, you feel guilty for eating those cookies, cakes, fudge, candies and three helpings of turkey dinner.

Well, I can relate to all of the above, most definitely.  I have been trying all year long to eat healthier, smaller portions, and the holidays seem to negate all of my hard work.  But it doesn't have to erase it ALL.  For the past year, I have been baking a lot of my own goodies for my kids and myself, and I have been really trying to make them healthier.  If the fact that holiday treats are loaded with empty carbs and white sugar, not to mention butter, butter and more butter stresses you out, then I think I may have some solutions for you.

Some things I think can help is to try and avoid the all or nothing technique, and to make my Christmas goodies just a little bit healthier so the guilt factor goes down.  In my experience, if I try to stay away from Christmas treats, I end up craving them and binging on them.  I have decided that I am not going to ban myself from eating them.  I just need to exercise some self control and stop at one or two instead of five or six.  That way, I am not denying myself things that I love, but I am still not packing on the pounds.  I have worked far too hard to lose weight in the past year, and I'm not willing to let any of it back just because I want to eat that extra piece of fudge.

When baking and creating delicious treats, there are also options to make them healthier.  One thing I have done in all my baking is to replace white flour with whole wheat flour.  By adding whole grains into my chocolate chip cookies, ginger molasses cookies and countless other lovely treats, I am upping the fiber factor by a good percentage, so I can feel a little less guilty for eating a few.  Another option is to reduce or replace white, refined sugar.  The regular white and brown sugar you buy in the store are both refined and bleached.  Brown sugar is just white sugar with molasses added to it.  In most baking, because sugar plays such an integral part in the chemical makeup of the finished product as well as the taste and texture, you can only reduce it by so much.  I believe it can be reduced by about a quarter without affecting taste and texture.  If you want to replace it, there are actually many options to choose from.  Something I have used is natural, raw sugar.  It is more coarse, so something to make sure you do is to mix it with your wet ingredients and let it sit a few minutes so it dissolves fully in your mixture before adding the dry ingredients.  Another option is to use products like cane sugar instead of white sugar, and sucanat for brown sugar, which is another name for whole cane sugar.  Sucanat retains its molasses content, so it can be used instead of regular brown sugar with the same taste and effect.  You can also find sugar replacements like Stevia (which I haven't used), or artificial sweeteners, which I also haven't tried.  I don't actually like them very much, and because I have spent the majority of the last two years either pregnant or breastfeeding, I have stayed away from them because of their chemical properties.  One more thing I have done a lot in my baking is to replace oils and some butters with unsweetened apple sauce.  This can be done in cakes, brownies, muffins and quick breads like banana bread.  It's a great option for reducing fat and calorie content in your baking.

The main thing I am thinking of is the fact that holiday food doesn't have to throw my healthy eating habits out the window.  I plan on loading up on veggies and turkey at our family dinners and minimizing my gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes and bread.  Another good trick is to grab a smaller plate and fill it really full, so you still feel like you are eating a large meal, but you are actually eating a smaller, more realistic portion. (This is a practice I actually do every day, at every meal.) I can still enjoy smaller portions of high fat and calorie foods, but the important part is that I don't want to fill my plate with more bad than good.  I will also do a lot of healthier baking, and when I allow myself to eat those treats, I don't feel the need to eat an entire pan of fudge or caramel.  Holidays don't have to be scary.  They are there so we can celebrate our families and have a wonderful time.  So, if we can go into it with a resolve to treat our bodies well and not deny ourselves some treats, I think we can make it through without gaining ten pounds and feeling an immense amount of guilt.

Happy holiday eating everyone!