I have decided to just start over. I will have the opportunity in the next few weeks to actually go to the gym, and I'm going to take it. I'm going to go whenever there is time, whether I have the energy or not. I am tired of looking at the 5 or so pounds I have gained, and I'm tired of feeling out of shape. I am tired of being tired...just tired, tired, tired. I have the time, and I need to take it. I am hoping to get back into the habit of working out daily, and really, really hoping to drop some of these pounds that have crept their way back into my life. They are not welcome. And besides, I have a bikini to wear this summer.
So, here I go again. I think this past few months has taken a toll on me. I have had a difficult time doing everything in my household on my own. I have a wonderfully involved husband, but when he's working two jobs and going to college, that means the responsibility to run the household falls solely to me. And along with working a sometimes ten hour day, it becomes exhausting. I give and give and give and give, and rarely am I able to put anything back into myself. I seek a balanced life, but it is so far from my grasp right now it's hard to even imagine. I have a chance for a few weeks at least to put some work back into the physical side of things by getting more sleep and exercising again, so that's what I'm going to do.
This isn't the first time I have "started over". I do it every few months. I would like to stop this cycle of doing well, sliding downhill, hitting bottom and then starting again. It too is tiring. I just want some balance. I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle, healthy weight and healthy mind. And so, I am starting again. Maybe I'm not so much starting again though, as I am continuing a journey I started years ago that has many peaks and valleys.
Yeah, that's a better way of looking at it. Same journey, different spot. Here we go again.
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