I know I said I was taking a hiatus, but...

I know I said I wouldn't be back until October, but I had an experience this past weekend I just have to blog about.

I have let a part of myself die, or at the very least, go dormant for a while.  I have been so busy taking care of everyone else, that I have forgotten one of the most important things about myself.  I lost my laugh.

I used to laugh a lot.  Despite all the things in my life that tried to get me down when I was younger, I still held onto my ability to have fun.  Well, lately I have seriously lacked fun.  I have been so wrapped up in my responsibilities and dozens of jobs that this part of myself has taken a back seat.  This past weekend, I rediscovered my laugh, and a few other things that I have lost.

This weekend I took Friday and Monday off to celebrate my good friend's thirtieth birthday in Kelowna, BC.  It's been a long time since I was able to get away without my kids, and I must say, it was nice to be responsible for no one but myself.  The girls I spent the weekend with really helped me gain perspective on a few things in my life.  Some of the girls I've known since I was a kid, some I feel like I have but actually just met.  I had forgotten how amazing it is to just let loose with people you care about and trust.  I felt comfortable instantly (I am often uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations), and I realized just how much I needed to reconnect with amazing friends.

Today, I am feeling the effects of my crazy weekend.  I am fairly certain I slept about six or seven hours in the entire four days, but that isn't what is affecting me.  I danced all night in heels and sustained some serious injuries to my big toes (pretty sure I'll be losing my toenails), but that's not the biggest thing.  The hugest effect I am still feeling from an awesome weekend full of memorable moments is the sore muscles in my stomach from all the laughter.  I haven't laughed so hard for so long in literally years, and it felt good!  And while my body is certainly protesting that I am not as young as I used to be, what I am going to take from this whole thing is that I need to continue to reconnect with friends, and stay in touch with that part of me who loves to laugh.

For so long now, my life has been all business.  While I certainly appreciate all the wonderful things I have, I dearly miss my fun self.  From the moment I wake up in the morning until the moment I hit the pillow to go back to bed, I work.  I work at taking care of my kids and my family.  I work at my job, I work at my fitness, I work at my health.  I work at my writing and at pretty much everything else I do.  This weekend I remembered what it was like to just let life happen, to savor it, to simply enjoy the company of some wonderful people without having to work so hard.  I don't have to work for these people to like and accept me - they just do.  I don't have to prove a single thing to them, because they are my friends and most of them have been since I was a kid (and one I feel like I have known for my whole life even though I just met her on Friday...you know who you are!).  I lose myself so easily in the crushing pressure of this life I have built, and I was reminded this weekend that I need to take that part of me back, and nurture it from time to time.  I need to remember that I don't have to kill myself with work, and that life is allowed to just happen, and that's okay.

Thanks girls for an amazing weekend!