This morning I awoke feeling anxious. I had worry in the back of my mind, and I just couldn't shake it. I couldn't put my anxiety into words; I just felt it.
I did something this morning that I haven't done in a long time. I prayed. I sometimes forget the therapeutic nature of prayer. Whether you are praying because you believe in a higher power, or because you just need to tell the universe what's what, it is an incredibly cathartic experience. It allows us to unload those worries, anxieties, hurts, and any other feeling that isn't easily abated. So, I prayed a lot this morning. I kind of had a running dialogue with the God I think is listening, explaining my anxiety and the reasons for it. I didn't have to put many words to it, I just felt in the direction of my prayer.
At precisely 11:15 (I know this because I was looking at the oven clock while preparing lunch), an immense feeling of peace came over me. It was so overwhelming I actually cried. My anxiety, while the reasons for it are still there, is completely gone. I feel happy, joyful, peaceful. It's a pretty crazy feeling, considering I have a house full of kids (who at the moment are taking a much needed nap/quiet time) and a mountain of work awaiting me. My smile comes very easily right now.
I don't know the reason for this peace, but I am incredibly grateful. In my life, though I often portray a peaceful front to those looking in, most of the time I feel everything but. My family and people close to me can attest to that. I am very, very good at appearing happy and peaceful when on the inside I am full of stress. I am very good at faking it, but at this moment, I really don't have to. It's a strange feeling!
And so, I am happy to share with you my peace, and I wish you all some too. I don't know how long it will last as the stressors in my life are most definitely not gone, but while I have it, I'm going to enjoy it.
Have a lovely day!
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