I have a bad habit of getting wrapped up in the small crises in my life. At this point, I find that I am easily stressed, and I realize I need some better ways of coping. My stress doesn't just affect me. I have my kids, my family, and my day home to think about when I am trying to deal with it. And believe me, it takes a lot of effort sometimes. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
So lately I have been trying to take a step outside of myself a little more often. I have been trying to notice things that make me smile, or calm me down or make me think of something other than my stress. I have been attempting to find those magic moments throughout my day that make all this craziness I call life worth while.
There are so many moments throughout the day that can get lost if I let them. If I let my tunnel vision get the best of me, I miss the sweet stuff. Like a couple weeks ago, my two year old started the day off with a song and dance, accompanied by purposeful falling down and cheering. She did it for about five minutes straight, and I am so glad I didn't miss it. I actually recorded it, and watching it again and again makes my heart warm. It was the sweetest, funniest little moment, and it totally made my morning. It was magical.
There are so many magic moments if we just stop and try to see them. In my life, the things that stress me tend to crowd out those amazing little life moments, but I am more determined than ever to see them through it all. It takes purposeful looking. So, I purposefully look. I am not perfect at this, but I do try. It is a process, and something I have to train myself to do. For example, the other day my two year old and a child in my day home were playing with moonsand at the table. I knew going in that my daughter was going to make a huge mess (I can't stand messes, and it makes me crazy when my kids are messy, but they are kids, so I have to chill), and I told myself that going in. I gave her a very small amount of sand, hoping that it would make clean up later on a little easier. Not the case. She got the stuff everywhere. And I don't just mean all over the floor. She thought it would be a good idea to rub it on her cheeks, put it in her mouth, hair, and just generally grind it into every exposed piece of skin. If you've ever seen moonsand, you know it's not regular sand that you can just brush off. It sticks together when pressed and you can actually build things with it - and I found out that it's difficult to wipe off of a toddler's cheeks when she has rubbed it in so vigorously. As I was beginning to get really frustrated and annoyed at myself for allowing her to play with this stuff (because really, it wasn't her fault), I had to just stop and look at her face. It was covered in red sand and looked hilarious. She was so, so cute. That's a little bit of magic right there. She was just so precious sitting there covered in sand and smirking.
Another example from my two year old involves yet another mess. I don't know if I have adequately expressed how much I hate messes, but it causes me a great deal of anxiety...I don't know why. We were eating out, and had had a very long day. A friend had come to meet us and this was her first experience with my kids. Of course, when you want them to behave, they just don't. My little toddler, in her delirious exhaustion, took her juice box and squeezed it onto her head. It pooled all over the bench and into her jeans (which she had to sit in the whole two hour drive home because I didn't pack spares). It got all over her and all over everything else. At this point, I was freaking out on the inside. I was also pretty tired, and just didn't have the energy to deal with her craziness. I made a decision at that moment to see the humor in the situation instead of freaking out (which would be the usual response). Picturing it now makes me smile - her little hands holding this juice box poised above her head, mischievous smile on her face, and then juice pouring everywhere - absolutely hilarious! That's a moment I won't soon forget. That was magic. I'm so glad I could see it.
I try hard to look for those magical moments. They can be just about anything; being hugged at some unexpected moment, my kids randomly doing sweet things, like saying "I love you" or when my six year old randomly announced at lunch time the other day, "You're the best mom I could ever have." It could be hearing from someone you care about, being told you're thought of, or simply looking out the window at the gorgeous fall leaves. Whatever magic is around, it is usually easily missed, if you're not looking.
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