Fingerprints

People have no idea how profoundly we affect others' lives. We leave our fingerprints everywhere we go. Be careful how you touch someone else's life.  This was my facebook status a few days ago and I was surprised at the response it got.  I have been encountering people from my past quite a lot lately, and I always wonder if they have any idea how much they have impacted me.  I tend to think they don't, because most of them are no longer part of my life, and I have never told them just what their actions or words have done to me.  Each person I encounter leaves an impression on me, and because of this, I have recently become aware that I might have that same impact on others.  What a scary thought!

These people whom I have been encountering lately bring about a heartbreak I suffered a few years back (I have written a bit about it in previous posts).  I have moved on with my life, and I have a happy and fulfilling existence, but those bruises still remain.  Some days I don't even think about those people, and other days I can't help it.  It's not like I'm dwelling on them day in and day out, but once in a while I see someone, or I hear a song that reminds me of them and I quietly, inwardly wince.  You see, no matter how much personal healing I have gone through in the last five years, the fingerprints those people left on me will always remain in place.  I feel as though I am unable to wash them away.  They're like forensic evidence left behind at the scene of a crime and my scrutiny has discovered them once again.  This is what scares me about the impact I might have on someone else.  I believe most of the people I am talking about have no idea how hurtful their words and actions were, and how much that experience has marked me.  I don't want to leave that kind of fingerprint on someone else.

How many hurtful words have escaped my lips?  How many scornful looks have shown on my face?  How have I left fingerprints on others?  My hope in life is to have a positive impact on those I encounter, but this is not always the case.  I know I have hurt people.  I know I have said insensitive things.  I know I have been the cause of another person's pain, because I am only human.  But I also know that I don't have to leave that kind of mark on someone else.  I know I can encourage and uplift others.  I can help them through their trials, and offer kindness instead of judgment.  This is a conscious choice I can make each time I have a conversation, or meet someone new, or encounter a person whose circumstances and viewpoints are different from my own.

I am sickened by the judgment we place on one another.  I have felt the weight of judgment, and it crushed me.  It left scars that may never go away.  Why on earth would I want to do that to someone else?  How can I look my fellow man in the eye when I sit on my high horse and look down my nose?  The simple answer is that I can't.  I have no right to place myself above another, nor do I have a right to treat others in ways that will leave a tarnished, dirty fingerprint on them.  What I wish for humanity is that we just think about what our actions and words will do to affect others before we do and say them.  I carry the fingerprints of every person I have ever had a relationship with on myself, and therefore my fingerprint must be on others in the same way.  One word can have the most profound effect on someone else, and we can have no clue.  Maybe it was said in anger, or maybe it was a flippant, sarcastic remark. Maybe it was encouraging, or loving, or uplifting. And once it is said, it can't be taken back.  We really need to be more careful with one another.  

I write this today because I no longer want to carry the negative, ugly marks people have left on me.  I do not want to identify with the judgment others placed on me.  I do not want to carry the weight of my past experiences on my back anymore.  The wonderful thing about being a living, breathing, conscious being is that I have the power to make choices for myself.  Today I choose to take all of those fingerprints and make them reflect the work of art that is me.  I choose to forgive, though I will never forget.  I choose to project only that which will bring positive change in myself and others.

 What kind of impact do you have on others?  Have you ever thought about it?