Every second counts.

It seems to me that the people I love are surrounded by loss lately.  I am not so naive as to think that these types of experiences are exclusive to myself, but I kind of feel like this is excessive.  Yesterday my father lost his best friend of 50 plus years to cancer.  This is a man who is as much a part of my mental furniture as any other childhood memory.  He was always a part of my dad's life, and therefore mine.  The two have known each other since they were five years old; best friends for an entire lifetime.   How do you go from having someone constantly in your life to never seeing them again?

Unfortunately, I can answer that question.  The long list of people in my life who have passed on has taught me, and now been reinforced again, that every single second matters.  Every second counts.  Every moment I share with loved ones could be my last.  I'm not trying to be negative or sound like I expect death to knock at people's doors all the time, I'm just trying to take all this sadness and make it mean something.  I think of all the time I have wasted, and it makes me sad.  Wasted moments being wrapped up in the trivial, mundane things that are all too easy to get lost in are numerous.  How many times have I just sat in front of the television, blocking out the world?  How many times have I not picked up the phone to call someone just to say I love you, or I'm thinking of you? How many times have I not reached out to someone because I was nervous or afraid?  Sadly, the answer is many...so many.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  Make every day, every hour, every moment of your life matter.  I need to stop being wrapped up in trivial things and forcibly remember that I don't have forever to live.  I may not have the option of living later, so I have to do it now.  We only have now.  That's it.  Live right now.

R.I.P. Radar.  You'll be missed.  Thank you for sharing yourself with my dad.