Finding my passions - again

I have been preoccupied lately. While attempting to balance out my life, I have found that my passions have begun resurfacing. For a long time I have felt somewhat devoid of passion. Maybe it's lack of sleep, or maybe it's just that I have too many other things to do. Lately I have been trying desperately to regain some of what I miss in my life, starting with exercise and good health. I've decided to take back my life in more ways than one.

The first thing I've been doing is getting active again. My pregnancy resulted in a huge amount of weight gain, more this time than the last. Because of this, I have felt unattractive, tired and just heavy. The more I move, the better I feel, and I repeat the mantra "I'm taking back my life" in order to push through the pain and physical fatigue. There are so many things that have inspired me to do this. One of them is my good friend, who just competed in a body building and fitness championship, and another is Jillian Michaels from the Biggest Loser and Losing it With Jillian. I have to admit, I'm a little obsessed with her. I am a fan on facebook and have signed up to her website. I do her Wii game three times a week and watch her show religiously. It feels good to be so inspired to get healthy again, and lose weight along the way. I love it! I looked in the mirror at the gym last night and didn't cringe, which is a first in about 2 or 3 years. I was trying to lose the weight I gained my first year teaching when I got pregnant, so obviously that was shot. I am feeling very exhilarated and very inspired to get myself to a healthy body weight where I'm not carrying around extra pounds, and can run around with my kids.

The next thing I have started doing is writing. If you know me, you know I read books like they're crack, and now I've begun to feel the same passion for writing again. I have always loved to write and getting back to it makes me feel like I'm regaining a little bit of myself. I've been working on a couple of projects. This blog, a book of poetry I'm self publishing on lulu.com and now a novel! I am in the fourth chapter, and I absolutely can't get it out of my mind. I am writing every spare second I have. I am finding myself lost in the story and absolutely falling in love with my characters. That's actually the reason I haven't written my blog all week long!

The next thing I need to reintroduce into my life is music. I used to sing - in choir since grade three, as part of the worship band at church, at weddings...I even tried out for Canadian Idol once. Now I have no venue to sing anymore, and I miss it terribly. My daughter said to me the other day, when I mentioned that I miss singing all the time, "You're not a singer Mom," and my heart broke just a little. I have no idea how to reclaim that part of myself, but rest assured, I will someday. I want nothing more than to hold a microphone with a band booming behind me and sing my little heart out. Someday...

So I'm finding my passions again, and it feels good. I am on my way back to a positive attitude and happy self. There are fewer days when I feel like I'm just going through the motions and not doing anything for myself. It is a process, and I'm not even close to finding balance yet, but I'm on my way. I hope you can too!