I turned 29 last May, and all of a sudden, all the hopes and dreams I ever had came cascading into my mind. I have always wanted a lot out of life. I have always thought that if I didn't hope for lots, I would get very little. What I didn't know was that many of my hopes and dreams wouldn't pan out as planned, but that I would have so much more than I ever thought I would. I still have hopes and dreams though, and today, I have expanded them a little.
I have written extensively about my love of writing, singing and generally artistic type stuff. I have written about teaching, and my career and my kids. I have written a little about my weight loss goals, and the stumbles along the way. Well, my new hopes and dreams veer off in a completely different direction; one that is incredibly foreign to me.
I was at the gym this evening, and I wanted to pick up a schedule for some of the classes, thinking I'd start going to Yoga once a week. Instead of picking up a schedule, I picked up a guide that highlights all the programs they have at my gym. I started to read it, and it really made me think. There are some things in the guide I think I want to try!
One of them is bellydancing. I am not a very coordinated person, but in my younger years, I enjoyed dancing as much as the next person. I can't say I was ever very good at it though. I think that as I am coming into the next decade of my life, it would be wonderful to do something for myself that can remind me of how beautiful and sensual a woman's body can be - even if it has had two children and has lots of curves. Bellydancers are supposed to be curvy, right? Well, I fit the bill then. It might be a fantastic way to build confidence and pride in the body God gave me. The only problem is that it doesn't jive with my schedule at the moment, so we will put that one on the backburner for now, but not out of my mind!
The next thing I saw in the guide was triathlon training. Yes, I just said triathlon. Running, swimming and biking. Triathlon. Oh dear, what has my imagination gotten me into here? I think that by the time I am 35, I should do a triathlon. I am not a very good runner. I can't seem to find a good rhythm, I always feel like I'm going to fall over, and I can't breathe when I run. Is this realistic? Well, I ran for 6 minutes today on the treadmill, and I didn't want to pass out. That's kind of good, right? Maybe in five and a half years, I will be able to run much farther. Swimming - now there's something I like. I used to swim lengths in university, but I am not very fast or very strong. I also tend to want to hyperventilate and I hate it when water goes up my nose. AND, I am afraid of water. I am telling the truth though, I actually like swimming. Then there is biking. I can ride a bike, but not very fast and not very well. I rode 40 km this past summer, and I almost died. I made it, but I walked the hills and I was the last one in at the finish. I think in five and a half years, I could ride a little better. Maybe I should buy a bike?
So, I am beginning to take my narrow minded life plan and branch out a bit. That's a scary thing for me! I am a planner, through and through. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a teacher. Check on the degree, not so much on the actual career. It's on hold. When I moved to the city I live in now for university, I decided I was going to find a husband. Well, I did that, and it worked out wonderfully. The moment I set foot here I began to look. It took me just over a year. I met my hubby when I was nineteen and married him at twenty two. Good for me, that part of my plan worked out. Then I wanted to be married for five years, build my career, and then have kids. That one has turned out to be a little backwards. Oh well, cest la vie.
My list of things I wanted to do in my life is incomplete, and now I am adding more ambitions. I wonder how much stress this will add to my life? I already stress about the fact that I am almost thirty and have not been able to establish myself in a school district. I put a lot of time and energy into writing, trying to take my career in a different direction, or at least add to it. Now I want to bellydance and do a triathlon. Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?
All I know is that I can't live life without goals. I need them to motivate me and spur me on to move my butt. If I don't have them, my life will easily get soaked up by my domestic duties, supplemented by bad daytime television. So, yeah, I have some lofty goals. That's okay. I need them, and it's kind of fun to branch out a little and take on something completely different. Here goes nothing!
Here are some of my current lifetime goals: (If you don't put them out there, who will hold you accountable?)
1) Finish and publish at least one novel
2) Become a freelance writer and editor
3) Go back to teaching
4) Get my master's and PhD and teach English at a university
5) Sing in a band
6) Own a coffee shop and import and roast my own beans
7) Travel SOMEWHERE
8) Compete in a Triathlon
9) Take bellydancing
Lofty Goals...
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