Ahhhhhhhh!

I have not been to the gym in weeks.  Weeks! I am ashamed to say that I allowed circumstances to hold me back from working out.  Ugh.  But I'm not writing to beat myself up.  No, I am writing to express my extreme pleasure in the fact that, not only did I make it to the gym tonight, but my body (and mind) is just elated about it.  I feel soooooo good.  Ahhhhhhh.

I have realized, again, that I love to work out.  I love being active, not because I particularly enjoy the exercise, but I enjoy what it does for me.  I love the pain of my muscles squeaking to life after a long period of dormancy (like this month!), and then releasing the pent up energy in sheer joy.  I love when I have to really push myself past a certain point to get my stride, and then my lovely brain releases all those endorphins, making me feel, well, good.  I love sweating so much that I shiver later on, and to tell you the truth, exercise makes my mind calm down, allows me to put many things into perspective, and release frustration, negative vibes and lethargy.  Exercise makes my PMS take a hike too, which I LOVE.

Another thing I love after a good work out is sitting down on a mat and stretching it all out.  My heart rate, calming after the cool down, slows even more as I breathe deeply into my muscles, pushing out all the lactic acid.  Along with the lactic acid, out go my fears, my worries, and all the things that nag at my brain day in and day out.  My mind releases those mile-long to-do lists and stresses about kids, money, time, weight and food.  As I exhale, I push it all away, allowing my limbs to direct the negative energy elsewhere.  I love working out.

Being able to finally get to the gym this evening reminded me of all of the above, and it also shown me that I don't have to feel negatively about being a little lazy over the holidays, or having to work around difficult, impossible schedules.  I don't have to feel badly that I ate my dessert nine times out of ten this season.  I don't have to beat myself up for savoring a few glasses of wine.  Actually, when I really think about it, this holiday season was kind of successful.  I went to several Christmas parties where dinner was provided, buffet style, and I still took a modest amount of food and stopped eating when I was full.  I ate my dessert, yes, but I didn't eat three helpings of stuffing and gravy.  I ate two lovely Christmas dinners, and again, I did really well!  I only ate one helping of food each time, and allowed myself wine and dessert, but didn't go overboard.  I got to dress up, wear make-up, do my hair and I fit perfectly into all of my "skinny" clothes without all that crazy body-sucking-in-heavy-duty-underwear.  It was great.  I felt great, I looked great and I did great.  I'm actually quite proud of myself.

Even though I didn't work out this Christmas, and I ate my fair share of desserts and chocolates, and at times, felt guilty about it, I still see it as a success.  I didn't gain any weight, and I actually still have lots of goodies that were given to me sitting in the packaging, unopened.  That in and of itself is a personal victory!  The only thing I have regretted this season is not working out, and tonight, my body responded as if nothing was amiss.  I got on the elliptical machine and pushed hard, and my body did its job.  It felt awesome, and I am so pleased to have made it through Christmas mostly unscathed!  So, I pat myself on the back, and say well done Dara.  You didn't mess up all your hard work.  Good job.