Change is scary. No, it's not just scary. It's downright frightening. Tomorrow, the life of my family changes. We will go from having a husband and father who works stupidly hard at a job that he hates, to having a husband and father who is also a student! My husband is going back to school. I've said for months now that I feel like change is coming in my life, and well, here it is. The only problem with change is that it brings a great deal of uncertainty. The problem with my husband going back to school right now is that we have two young children to support. We have car payments. I am still paying back student loans. And now it looks as though we will be needing to move in May. Boy, when it rains, it pours! My poor husband is not only going to be attending school full time, but he will also still need to work full time until I can get my ducks in order to make my business bring in more profits.
So, I am scared...frightened...maybe a little terrified. But I'm also really, really excited! My husband is a gifted creative mind whose talents are being wasted in an iron foundry. Instead of creating beautiful pieces of art and graphics, he shovels sand. Talk about wasted potential. So, he is taking a program that will allow him to become a graphic designer in nine months. This is where he is supposed to be. It's going to be a hard road, but I really feel like this is the path to take. It's kind of a "now or never" sort of thing. If we don't take a step, plunge, leap of faith, then he ends up stuck in an iron foundry, shoveling sand, each shovelful burying his spirit deeper and deeper until it is entirely gone. This is not the life I want for the person I love most in the world. Not even close.
So, as my family embarks on creating a new life, and I have both terror and excitement running through my veins, I wonder, how many people stay stuck in lives they hate just because they are afraid of change? I can relate to this fear. My husband has a job that pays the bills, and he is sacrificing this for a new career that has the potential not to make the same kind of money. If I'm being honest, this is the first thought that crossed my mind when he said he wanted to go back to school. But then the next thought was, "Wow, he could potentially do something he loves!" It's a toss up. Which one is more important? We have chosen the latter, but many do not. I can understand that too. This life we lead has its ups and downs. Whichever path you choose, something must be sacrificed. If you choose the stable, terrible job, as we have done these past few years, you sacrifice your drive and ambition, your time and energy, and your desires. If you sacrifice the job, then comes the stress of how do deal with finances. In our case, we are also sacrificing time with each other and the kids for the next nine months, but hopeful that it will lead to better circumstances.
So many of us live in mediocrity because we are unwilling or unable to embrace change. We live out our lives with unfulfilled desires, unhappiness nagging at the back of our minds and hearts. We try to do things, little things to appease ourselves, but we never really take the necessary plunge that will change it all. We tell ourselves that it's not the right time, we don't have enough money, we just can't do it. But is that true? Granted, sometimes circumstances prevent us from making a much needed change, but there are things we can do to make it happen. Whether it is taking a night class or getting your butt to the gym for the first time, all that is needed to start that snowball rolling is one step. Just one step. So, what are you waiting for? GO!
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