Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and to be honest, it's not a day I have ever really cared about. I think it's really cute for kids to bring their valentines to school and feel special because so many people gave them little cards. I think the crafts are adorable. My kids and my day home have been making Valentine's crafts all week long, because the holiday just lends itself to so many cute activities. But when it comes to romance and all that gushy stuff, I am just not into it.
When I was a teenager, I thought Valentine's Day was great. I loved getting little presents from which ever boyfriend I had that week (and truth be told, there is actually one gift I still have). I loved the attention and the opportunity to admit to my crush that I liked him. But now that I have been with my husband for so long, that excitement had worn off. It is kind of just another day.
My husband always tried to be romantic in the beginning. When we were dating he would buy me flowers and candy and stuffed animals. Even in the first few years of marriage he continued to try, but after repeated lukewarm responses from me, he kind of gave up. I am not a very romantic person. I don't actually want anyone to pay direct attention to me, so being lavished with gifts and flowers and romance makes me feel weird. I don't like it. I don't know what it is, but I like to stay in the background. Honestly, I'd rather my significant other clean the house for me or watch the kids while I take a nap. That is something I would truly appreciate!
That's not to say there isn't a little part of me that wants the attention. I am a woman, so it's natural! It's a bit of an oxymoron...If you give me Valentine's gifts, I will brush it off, but if you don't, I might feel just a little bit hurt. Boy, I'm glad I'm not a man...then I'd have to deal with women like me! Yikes. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
But what is Valentine's Day anyway? It's yet another westernized holiday where people spend money. It's a paycheck for all those candy and greeting card companies. I'm sure it's quite lucrative! Restaurants and flower shops gear up for this day the minute New Year's is over, and they make a ton of cash. Not to mention lingerie stores that sell pretty pink and red frilly underthings just for this day. Too bad those things get stuck in a drawer never to be seen again in the aftermath! So what is it that makes us have to celebrate "love" on a specific day each year? Is this necessary?
I would say that yes, maybe for some people it is necessary. It is one day a year where they can put all the focus on their relationships and loved ones, and it just makes people feel good. For some people, perhaps not. I know for me it's not like I think my husband doesn't love me if he doesn't buy me flowers. But like I said, I am the least romantic person I know. What I want is to feel loved every day, and it doesn't really take grand gestures like flowers, chocolate and tons of attention lavished upon me.
I know I am loved when someone shows they have thought about me. When they do something like bring me coffee because they know I am having a particularly tiring day. I show my love in subtle ways that have a lot of meaning to me. I send someone a text saying "Hey, thinking about you," or I make a meal I know my family will thoroughly enjoy. I do things because I am thinking about a person I love, not because I am obligated to do them. And the simplest way to show love is to just say it. Those three words go a long way in my books! I don't think there has been a day go by in the past ten years when my husband hasn't said he loves me, and truly, I appreciate that. It's the easiest and simplest thing to say, just to remind our loved ones that they occupy a space in our hearts.
So, do you buy into the whole Valentine's Day thing, or are you more like me, appreciating those small things that celebrate your love?
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