Over It!

My last post was kind of a downer.  I really do have a lot of positive things going for me.  I have lost 54 pounds (I gained two, then lost them again in the last little while, but who's counting?), and I just matched my lowest weight of my adult life (and teenage life for that matter).  I am actually down one pound this week, despite all of my not working out.  That's cool.  And, my knee is starting to feel better. 

I went to the doctor today to have him look at it, and he said it's probably a bruise or sprain on the medical collateral ligament, which is the one on the inside of the knee.  He did an X-ray as well, and it showed no damage to the bone or joint.  Because the pain has been subsiding, he is optimistic that it's not a serious injury, but I have to be careful when I do cardio.  My ligaments are loose around my knees, which means the knee actually extends left and right further than it should, and that can cause injury if I run or do things that are too high impact.  So, I have been advised to do no running at all, and he wants me to start interval training on the rowing machine, and do more swimming (which I always intend to do, but never quite get there).  So that's good news for me.  I think things are starting to look up in that area. 

So, in reality, things are not going so badly.  I know I can lose six more pounds.  I've already lost 54!  I look back on myself a year and a half ago, after giving birth to my beautiful girl at 210 pounds, and I am actually thankful that I was there.  I am thankful for the fat girl who didn't just want to be thin.  That girl wanted to change her life.  She wanted to be healthy.  If she had never existed, I would not be where I am today.  If I had never had to look at myself in the mirror and see what I did, I would have remained an inactive, marginally healthy person who didn't understand the value of exercise and balance.  So I'm thankful for that girl, who cried sometimes when she saw how pregnancy had distorted her body.  She made me want to change.

And change I did.  I have lost more than my six year old weighs!  I am committed to living a healthy and balanced life.  I am not the same person I was.  Not even close.