I'm four weeks into my six week weight loss goal of 10 pounds. And I'm failing miserably. Seriously. I know what I need to do - workout hard. The unfortunate thing is that I feel so stuck in my daily responsibilities right now that working out has fallen off the radar. Aside from walking on a daily basis now that the weather is nice, I just feel like I have too much going on to hike it out to the gym at 5 am (because that's the ONLY time I can go). No matter what, something in my life is going to suffer, and I'm not willing to give up what little sleep I get.
I shouldn't say that I'm failing exactly. I have lost three pounds, but nothing more. I have learned that I am definitely not able to eat any dairy, and red meat is still off the table for now. I gave up on the gluten and wheat free diet this week a little, and my body is telling me that that wasn't the greatest idea. I don't know what exactly is going on, but I'm still trying to gauge what I can and can't eat. It kind of seems like nothing sits well in my stomach. Something I definitely need to have a chat with my doctor about. The problem is that I really don't like all this gluten free stuff. It's gross. The bread is yucky, the cookies and muffins don't taste right and I can only eat so much rice. I feel like I'm at an impasse. Either I live with the problems I seem to have digesting wheat, or I bite the bullet and truly make a change. Or maybe it's not the wheat at all...maybe it's sugar or some other culprit. Though I have been eating mostly organic natural sugar... Honestly, I just don't know.
So, that's my week four in a nutshell. I feel helpless to accomplish what I know I really need to. Those intense workouts that will push my body past its limit seem out of reach, because of my injury or time constraints, or space in my house, which I have none of and can't seem to ever leave. Maybe I'm just stalling, or maybe I'm not as motivated as I should be, but I feel kind of stuck.
And the not-so-silent dread of reaching my thirtieth birthday without reaching my goal is sitting like a rock in my stomach.
Sorry I wasn't positive and uplifting with this post. Can't fake what you're not feeling.
Woah, woah, WOAH!!!! You did not just write "reaching my thirtieth birthday without reachign my goal"
ReplyDeleteYou are SMALLER than you were in HIGH SCHOOL... and that is AFTER TWO KIDS!!!!!!!!
Don't you dare forget how amazing you are lady, or I'm coming down to lethbridge to kick your butt!
Thanks Heather. I so appreciate it, and you're right, I am smaller than I was in high school. I actually am down another pound this week, but found that out after I wrote this. I weigh the least I have weighed in about 15 years, and I am healthy, happy, and in the best shape of my life. I really have nothing to complain about. It's just when you get something in your head and it doesn't go the way you want it to it gets frustrating, you know?
ReplyDeleteCome visit me anyway...we could go work out! My doc said I need to change it up a little with the injury, so I'm branching out from my regular routine (if I can ever get there).