Indulgences

The first thing I ate this morning was chocolate.  The second thing was coffee.  This is indicative of what I am feeling like this morning.  I need a serious pick-me-up!  Maybe it's the fact that I haven't slept well at all this week (I smacked my own face in my sleep a couple days ago I was tossing and turning so much!), or maybe it's that it has been cold and snowy all week...again.  I am dreaming of warm, sunny days where I can wear shorts and sandals, and take my kids out of the house without the drama of bundling up against winter's cold.  If it was evening and my kids were in bed, I would be drinking a lovely glass of red wine.  What is it that compels me to consume these things when I am feeling down?

My need for coffee - I can answer that one.  I am addicted to caffeine.  I wake up groggy and headachy every morning and until I drink that first cup, I am a zombie.  But it's more than that.  The smell of it as I grind the beans, the aroma that permeates my house as it brews and that first taste as I bring the steaming cup to my lips....ahhhhhh.  It's magical.  My senses perk up the instant I hold that cup in my hands.  My whole body responds to it.  It is, for me, the ultimate comfort.  I literally never go to any city without knowing where the closest Starbucks is, or I bring my own in my tiny personal coffee press.  I have more coffee cups than I know what to do with too. They literally fall out of my cupboard!  People traveling around the world more often than not bring me back a Starbucks mug from whatever place they have been to.  I have mugs from Las Vegas, Bankok, Seattle, Peurto Vallarta, and even The United Arab Emirates.  People associate me with coffee.  It is nothing short of an obsession.

I mentioned chocolate as well, and this is a love I have written about ad nauseam.  I think the way chocolate makes me feel is as close to bliss as I can get.  Honestly!  Yesterday all I could think about was chocolate, and of course we had none in the house, or at least none that was the good stuff.  So, as soon as I had opportunity I went to the store and stocked up.  I got dark chocolate, milk chocolate, chocolate with caramel inside, chocolate cookies...you get the point.  Seriously, I was physically obsessing over it.  I couldn't stop myself.  There was no rational thought going on.  At all.  It was the first thing I ate this morning, and as I put the tasty morsel in my mouth, a sense of calm amidst the chaos of my morning washed over me.  Is it the properties of chocolate itself, or just my psychological attachment to it?  I have no idea.  Maybe it's both, but either way, this is one crutch I'm pretty sure I will never give up. 

My last indulgence is red wine.  A beautiful bottle of cabernet sauvignon, an aromatic shiraz, or a delicious merlot are among my favorites.  I don't drink this too terribly often, but it is something that comes to mind when I've had a particularly stressful day.  I love to pour the glass, give it a good swirl and inhale the aromas with eyes closed.  Turn off all the noise making things, put on some soft music and grab a good book, and it becomes more than just a glass of wine.  It becomes a stress reliever that rivals no other.  I'm not advocating getting completely wasted every night, but a glass or two really makes me relax and let go of the stress that comes along with being wife, mother, caregiver, housekeeper, chauffeur, chef, mediator, teacher...well, woman. 

An interesting little fact about coffee, chocolate and red wine is that they are all rich in antioxidants.  I feel great that these, and not fast food or potato chips, are my vices.  When consumed in moderation, all of them are actually good for you!  With the history of cancer and stroke in my family, the more antioxidants I can get, the better.  So, yes, I indulge from time to time.  But that's okay!  I don't do it every day (with the exception of coffee, which I drink black so the calories are minimal and the fat virtually nonexistent), and it just makes me feel so much better.  After the week I've had, I think that a glass of wine is in order tonight...and some chocolate too!